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X-Project Paranormal Christmas Celebration!

Home > Features > Haunted Holidays > A Flying Saucer Christmas

A FLYING SAUCER CHRISTMAS
by Glenn Joyner
ORIGINALLY POSTED: 21 December 2000



It's not Santa Claus and reindeer,
It's not Sputnik, it's not MIR.
It's not the moon, or a flying spoon,
What it is ain't exactly clear.

Could these be Santa's helpers?
With grey heads smooth as a ball.
They look like elves, and dress themselves
In one-piece coveralls.

It doesn't show up on radar,
But, Bubba, it's up there.
Don't you know, it's a UFO,
Don't soil your underwear.

They're not from Uranus,
And they're not from the mall...
Not from a black hole, or the North Pole,
Are they from anywhere at all?

Have a flying saucer Christmas,
`Cos it's just that time of year.
With flashing strobes and anal probes,
The aliens are here!

Have a flying saucer Christmas,
There's no reason why you can't.
Decorate the tree, and laugh with glee,
Mistletoe on my implant.

I'm not drunk on eggnog,
My deck isn't missing a card,
But I saw it there, up in the air,
And it landed in my yard.

They abducted my old grandpa,
And took our Christmas wreath,
He put up a fuss, they brought back the old cuss,
But I guess they kept his teeth.

They don't leave us any presents,
And don't ride on Santa's sleigh,
In the dark of night, they visit all right,
But bring us back by Christmas day.

They're only seeking answers,
So please make no mistake.
I know it's true, because before they flew
They took core samples of the fruit cake.

Have a flying saucer Christmas,
`Cos it's just that time of year.
With flashing strobes and anal probes,
The aliens are here!

Have a flying saucer Christmas,
There's no reason why you can't.
Decorate the tree, and laugh with glee,
Mistletoe on my implant.


Copyright 1997, Glenn M. Joyner. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

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